Advice: Ask Andrew

Andrew Zucker, Columnist

Help Andrew!

I looked at my SOU tuition breakdown and I’m paying for the student rec center. I’m a senior and it isn’t even built! Why am I paying for it?

Thx

ConcernedStudent67

ConcernedStudent67,

I’m glad you asked, many SOU students are asking the same thing. Right now all students are paying their rec center fee to pay the bonds for building. However, the school totally gets that no one is using the rec center right now (it’s not even done yet). So when you graduate you will be granted access to the brand-new rec center for the same number of terms you were paying for the rec center to be built without building muscle.

I hope this worked out your problem,

Andrew


Hey Andrew,

I’m currently making only 100% profit on my burrito business. How could I extort my customers to make more profit?

Sincerely,

Chipotle

Chipotle,

Have you tried charging extra for guac? Everyone gets it, you could make at least a $1.25 off people and all you have to do is chop some avocados. You could go a little further and charge extra for chips!

Yours in Capitalism,

Andrew 


Hey Andrew,

I’ve always been interested in Student Government but I’m not sure about the commitment level… I know elections are over but is there any way to get involved?

Thanks,

Colin

Hey Colin,

In Student Government we work closely with the Oregon Student Association to provide an internship class for students like you to take. It’s a two-credit course that occurs every term (but you can participate for no credit). It’s an amazing opportunity for learning the ins and outs of student government while delving into student advocacy on a state-wide level. Contact osa@sou.edu to learn more.

It’s great you want to get involved,

Andrew


Hi Andrew,

My name is Eli and I was wondering since Artichokes have hearts does that mean they have feelings?

Thanks,

Eli

Hi Eli,  

What a great question! Yes artichokes have feelings! Wait… No because feelings don’t come from the heart they come from the limbic system.

Hope this helps,

Andrew


Hey Andrew,

My friends stopped coming around ever since I started composting in my room. I’ve been lighting a candle to help with the rotten fish smell but it’s not working…What do you do?

I live in Shasta.

Will Rye the Compost Guy

Will,

Do not light a candle in Shasta. Do not light fires in the dorms. I like to hold seance circles every once in awhile and the constant fire alarms scare off prankish spirits. Now I know who to blame.

When it comes to the rotting fish just leave your window open.

Putting out fires one question at a time,

Andrew


Andrew I have a problem,

I think the Giraffe animal cracker best describes my personality but my friends keep telling me I’m waaaaaaaaay more of an elephant cracker because of my superior memory skills.

Who’s right,

Alexis

Hey Alexis,

In short, you are. First we have to distinguish the animal cracker from the animal. The Giraffe animal cracker is a lot more detailed than the elephant cracker. This means that while an elephant might have a better memory IRL the giraffe wins this one. When we look further into it we can also see that the giraffe animal cracker has it’s head in the ground. This means that you are probably more of a grounded person and while a bit stubborn, you listen to reason.

Did I get it right?

Andrew


To ask Andrew a question send an email to zuckera@sou.edu with the subject line: Ask Andrew

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