A Seussian Tale: An RSCL production in association with Coach’s Hause

Let me tell you a tale, let me tell you a tale

Let me tell you a tale that’s as big as a whale

Let me tell you the tale of the Dope Telescope

The scope that is dope, and is hung from a rope


The scope that is dope was made on a hill

On the hill it is still, that hill of all hills

On the hill of all hills lived the Wrigly M’Gills

O the scopes on the hill, on hill it is still


Well the Wrigly M’Gills made their homes on the ground

On that hill, on the ground, they had Tangey Town

And in the centre of town lay the Dope Telescope

The scope that is dope, and is hung from a rope


Through the scope on the rope you could see the whole moon

And the moon was the home of the Red Mommagoons

And all good Gills knew that a Goon was a loon

And those loons on the moon would learn all too soon


For the Wrigly M’Gills had constructed a ship

A ship built for a trip, a trip on their ship!

The M’Gills took a trip all the way to the moon

To visit the land of the Red Mommagoons


And the Chip of the ship was a young man named Rip

The man took no lip and was raring to trip

For he’d gazed through the scope at the Red Mommagoons

And was longing to visit their wonderful moon


And Rip had a girl– miss Maggie M’Gill

And she was the loveliest girl on the hill

And her thrill on the hill was the scope and the moon

And she’d stare, and she’d gaze, at the Red Mommagoons


She would gaze at the moon for nights upon nights

And days upon days, what a sight, what a sight

And one night she saw the ship land on the moon

To the moon it had zoomed, it had zoomed to the moon!


When the next day came round they set off for the town

That town on the mound they’d glimpsed on the way down

In the town on the mound lived the Red Mommagoons

There the Wrigly M’Gills would reach all the too soon


The Red Mommagoons met the men with no fear

For they looked quite alike, except for their gear

The Wrigly M’Gills wore shirts and tan trousers

While the Red Mommagoons wore naught but their yousers!


And Maggie, she witnessed their very first meeting

A meeting of greeting, the greetiest greetings

But the Wrigly M’Gills saw nothing in common

Those red-bellied monkeys scarcely covered their yahmans!


And Maggie looked on as the two struck a deal

They shook hands and sat down and shared a good meal

The deal they had made let the new people stay

They could stay quite a stay ‘fore they went on their way


But the Wrigly M’Gills hatched a plan of their own

They wanted the moon to be part of their home

They loved it so much they did not want to leave

For the water was sweet and the ground made of cheese


So they built up a fort, using wood from their ship

And the Chip of the ship called an end to their trip

And poor Maggie was sad, cause now her pop Rip

Could no longer sail home on his beautiful ship


And the Red Mommagoons, they began to get worried

Their new friends did not seem to be in a hurry

And soon the Gills’ fort was as big as the town

That town on the mound they glimpsed on the way down


And I think, yes I do, you can guess what comes next

Miss Maggie, she watched it unfold quite perplexed

Through the Dope Telescope she saw men take the moon

And all that was left of the Red Mommagoons


Was their town on the mound, now razed to the ground,

For there weren’t any Red Mommagoons still around

They had left when the Wrigly M’Gills started building their city

They had fled to the woods to live with their pity


And thus ends the tale of the Dope Telescope

The scope that is dope, and is hung from a rope

And thus ends the tale of the Red Mommagoons

The fine and proud people who lived on the moon.


Sue Denim, a sophomore, is an English/history double major (with a self-proclaimed minor in debauchery) and an active member of the varsity cross country and track teams.