Let me tell you a tale, let me tell you a tale
Let me tell you a tale that’s as big as a whale
Let me tell you the tale of the Dope Telescope
The scope that is dope, and is hung from a rope
The scope that is dope was made on a hill
On the hill it is still, that hill of all hills
On the hill of all hills lived the Wrigly M’Gills
O the scopes on the hill, on hill it is still
Well the Wrigly M’Gills made their homes on the ground
On that hill, on the ground, they had Tangey Town
And in the centre of town lay the Dope Telescope
The scope that is dope, and is hung from a rope
Through the scope on the rope you could see the whole moon
And the moon was the home of the Red Mommagoons
And all good Gills knew that a Goon was a loon
And those loons on the moon would learn all too soon
For the Wrigly M’Gills had constructed a ship
A ship built for a trip, a trip on their ship!
The M’Gills took a trip all the way to the moon
To visit the land of the Red Mommagoons
And the Chip of the ship was a young man named Rip
The man took no lip and was raring to trip
For he’d gazed through the scope at the Red Mommagoons
And was longing to visit their wonderful moon
And Rip had a girl– miss Maggie M’Gill
And she was the loveliest girl on the hill
And her thrill on the hill was the scope and the moon
And she’d stare, and she’d gaze, at the Red Mommagoons
She would gaze at the moon for nights upon nights
And days upon days, what a sight, what a sight
And one night she saw the ship land on the moon
To the moon it had zoomed, it had zoomed to the moon!
When the next day came round they set off for the town
That town on the mound they’d glimpsed on the way down
In the town on the mound lived the Red Mommagoons
There the Wrigly M’Gills would reach all the too soon
The Red Mommagoons met the men with no fear
For they looked quite alike, except for their gear
The Wrigly M’Gills wore shirts and tan trousers
While the Red Mommagoons wore naught but their yousers!
And Maggie, she witnessed their very first meeting
A meeting of greeting, the greetiest greetings
But the Wrigly M’Gills saw nothing in common
Those red-bellied monkeys scarcely covered their yahmans!
And Maggie looked on as the two struck a deal
They shook hands and sat down and shared a good meal
The deal they had made let the new people stay
They could stay quite a stay ‘fore they went on their way
But the Wrigly M’Gills hatched a plan of their own
They wanted the moon to be part of their home
They loved it so much they did not want to leave
For the water was sweet and the ground made of cheese
So they built up a fort, using wood from their ship
And the Chip of the ship called an end to their trip
And poor Maggie was sad, cause now her pop Rip
Could no longer sail home on his beautiful ship
And the Red Mommagoons, they began to get worried
Their new friends did not seem to be in a hurry
And soon the Gills’ fort was as big as the town
That town on the mound they glimpsed on the way down
And I think, yes I do, you can guess what comes next
Miss Maggie, she watched it unfold quite perplexed
Through the Dope Telescope she saw men take the moon
And all that was left of the Red Mommagoons
Was their town on the mound, now razed to the ground,
For there weren’t any Red Mommagoons still around
They had left when the Wrigly M’Gills started building their city
They had fled to the woods to live with their pity
And thus ends the tale of the Dope Telescope
The scope that is dope, and is hung from a rope
And thus ends the tale of the Red Mommagoons
The fine and proud people who lived on the moon.
